Clueless

Denty and I went to Yorkshire last weekend to attend Mini Mr Dentette’s christening. It was a nice time and I learnt more of the Denty family. By the way, Denty had blonde curls…

Anyway, I set up a scavenger hunt for Mitch to entertain her while we were away. I stuck the first clue (I am the keeper of Denty’s Gold Nuggets) hanging on a long string at the her bedroom door. I thought to myself, “Mitch will never miss it!”

Throughout the duration of the trip, I kept expecting a text from Mitch proclaiming gratitude, admiration or at least some sort of a salutation (as the prize of the hunt was something Mitch really wanted). But there was nothing. Not a peep!

By the end of the trip, it did cross my mind that Mitch might be unconscious (not the sleeping kind). Well, before we left the house, Denty set off the smoke alarm (Denty was cooking) and there were no signs of life from Mitch’s room.

When we got home, I did a quick look around. I found all the clues untouched. When I finally went upstairs, I saw the first clue hanging from my bedroom door with “?!!” in bold marker pen.

Her excuse was “You do odd stuff all the time, so how was I to know it was a hunt?”

Superior turkey

*Muks smacks head

*Muks doofs head on table

*Muks turns bright red

After 3 weeks… I have just found out that my immediate superior is called Tuckey, not Turkey!!!

No wonder she kept looking at me funny.

*hiss spit scratch

Yesterday, a Black Hairy Cow (BHC) got on the stop just before the one Muks was getting off. The train was quite empty (only 3 persons standing) and Muks was standing in a corner out of the way. BHC shoved Muks.

BHC to Muks: Go away. I want to stand there.

Muks to BHC: No, I am standing here.

BHC turns and shoved Muks again.

BHC to Muks: DON’T PUSH ME! (yelling)

Muks to BHC: I didn’t even move.

Nice Man to BHC: You were the one pushing her.

Muks smiled at Nice Man. Muks then looked BHC in the eye and gave BHC a sweet smile. In the most cultured and polite tones possible…

Muks to BHC: Today is your lucky day. I have a bad back that prevents my stooping to dig to your level. I am very well aware that one should not disparage those of inferior circumstances… (Muks went on to convey sympathy on her ignorance and origins. Muks also explained why the new class distinction is not about the depth of one’s pockets…)

BHC looked confused. Muks, boosted by the other passengers’ laughing at BHC, started speaking in Cantonese in a poetic tone (still smiling)…

Yue ko lei kam yat sei (If you die today)

Mou yan wui shiong lim lei (Nobody will miss you)

Yue ko lei seng ka yan sei (If your whole family dies)

Chan hai yat tin kong sai (It will really be a bright day)

The train started to pull into my station. As the door opens…

Muks to BHC: I bid you, good day.

Muks gave a bow and left the stage.

Raison d’être le rôti de poulet

The reasons God made man make roast chicken:

• Simplicity (put chicken in very hot place and ignore until it beeps)
• Economy (feeds man the mainmeal, and the rest to rice porridge)
• Desirability (roast chicken is yum, rice porridge is yummier)
• Ecology (without it, there is no reason for potatoes and parsnips)

sMitch and sMuks go back to work

Due to the failure of their fundraising sMusic in generating any sympathetic income, sMitch and sMuks decided to go back to work.

To gym or not to gym

My new firm sponsors gym memberships. Basically, we can sign up for any of the surrounding gyms at a discounted rate.

Why I should join:

• It could grow me a little muscles instead of mere tendons and ligaments to hold my NORMAL SIZED frame together.

Why I shouldn’t join:

• It is boring.
• It requires dedication.
• I am not sure how often I will be in the office.
• I am not sure of my workload.
• If I fail to utilise the facilities properly, £48 per month is a little too much to pay for the average of 4 showers.

9 days to Easter…

Guidelines

Here are the 10 guidelines for comfibleness inspired by the Hand of the Mouse.

1. There are only four food groups- meat, taterpots (potatoes for the uninitiated), dessert and miscellaneous
2. Thou shalt not wake up before 10am on weekends, and preferably weekdays too
3. Peanuts may only be consumed upstairs
4. Thou shalt not be make fun of peanuts
5. Wally genocide should be considerable under advisement
6. Thou shalt not find hidden chips in the cutlery drawers, and if found hidden, thou shalt not make fun
7. Resources spent on DVD procurement should not be limited
8. Thou shalt not bend spine of books
9. The only suitable at-home attire after 7pm is made of cotton, dark blue and often strippedy
10. Thou shalt not steal and hide attire prescribed in Guideline 9

Stinky is black

Stinky is my rabbit. He is black with white paws and nose. He fancies himself a bit of a Houdini and he managed to escape today.

Not easy looking for a black scarpering thing in the dark.

Comfibleness

A state of being during a Tuesday evening spent all wrapped up in a blankie on my lair watching Ally McBeal. Maybe someone would bring me a glass of wine?